最尖酸刻薄的书评
[b][font=kaiti_gb2312][size=32px][url=http://article.yeeyan.org/view/245405/221861]http://article.yeeyan.org/view/245405/221861[/url][/size][/font][/b][b][font=kaiti_gb2312][size=32px]最尖酸刻薄的书评[/size][/font][/b]
[indent]First Posted: 9/29/11 03:43 PM ET Updated: 9/29/11 03:43 PM ET [/indent][font=kaiti_gb2312][size=16px]《赫芬顿邮报》图书版（Books | Huff Post）2011年9月29日讯[/size][/font]
[font=kaiti_gb2312][size=16px]译者：江烈农[/size][/font]
[indent]From barnesandnoble.com[/indent][url=http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Reading-Habit/Worst-Book-Reviews/ba-p/5821?cm_mmc=Syndication-_-HuffPo%20Books-_-Reading%20Habit-_-worst%20reviews][color=#004276]原文转引自邦诺书店官网（barnesandnoble.com）[/color][/url]
[indent]“Critics are to authors what dogs are to lamp-posts.” ~ Jeffrey Robinson[/indent][font=simsun][size=14px]原文题献：[/size][/font]
[font=simsun][size=14px] “评论家与作家的关系，就如同狗跟电线杆子的关系一样。”[/size][/font]
[font=simsun][size=14px]——美国作家杰弗瑞·罗宾森（Jeffrey Robinson）[/size][/font]
[indent]Bad reviews are a fact of literary life, even for the most successful writers. Take Steig Larsson -- perhaps the hottest novelist of recent years, his books have nevertheless had to weather some cold-blooded attacks. The New York Times calls The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo “improbable” among other things. But the really tough one comes from Susan Cohen: "This is easily one of the worst books I’ve ever read. And remember I’ve read…” (You’ll have to read the review to find out who she's comparing him to.)[/indent] 吃文学饭，难免遇到差评，即使是最成功的作家，也难以幸免。看看瑞典作家史迪格·拉森（Steig Larsson）吧，他恐怕是近几年来最火的小说家了，就连他的作品，都不得不经历一番冷血毒舌、狂风暴雨的洗礼。[url=http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/23/magazine/23Larsson-t.html?pagewanted=all][color=#004276]他写的《龙纹身的女孩》被《纽约时报》挑了好多刺，还被称“太假[/color][/url]”。但最狠的一条差评，来自独立制片人苏珊·科恩（Susan Cohen）：“这本书，绝对是我读过最烂的一本书。而且你别忘了，我可是读过……”（[url=http://www.charlestoncitypaper.com/charleston/book-review--the-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo/Content?oid=1115528][color=#004276]点击这个链接，看看苏珊到底拿拉森跟哪些作家相提并论[/color][/url]。）3
[font=simsun][size=14px]译注：此处原文如此，并非译者卖关子。没时间移步的读者，我现在就可以揭晓谜底；不喜欢剧透的读者，请跳过此段。苏珊说“我可是读过约翰·格里森姆（John Grisham）的！”（她是有多瞧不起格里森姆……）她还拿《龙纹身的女孩》系列同《甜甜谷高中》（Sweet Valley High）系列青春小说比较，这个系列，看书名大概也能猜出是什么内容吧。[/size][/font]
[indent]But if authors and readers think reviews can be mean today, they are nothing compared to the vitriolic war of words carried out during a time when it seems we had thicker hides. What we call a classic now was once an up-and-coming writer's new novel – and fair game for reviewers with sharpened knives. No wonder that in Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot a war of insults culminates with "Crritic!" [/indent] 但是，广大作家、读者朋友们千万不要以为当今这些评论就可以算是刻薄，这些毛毛雨同以前的评论相比，简直不值一提。以前我们的脸皮可能更厚，所以毒舌也更加尖酸；那时的口水仗，简直就跟硫酸一样酸。我们现在称为“经典”的作品，也曾是“大师”初出茅庐的处女作，自然难逃评论家们一顿生剥活剐。也难怪萨缪尔·贝克特（Samuel Beckett）的《等待戈多》里，两位主人公大开骂戒，互相羞辱，最后爱斯特拉冈大获全胜凭的竟是一句：“评你妹！”
[font=simsun][size=14px]译注：《等待戈多》原著中，弗拉基米尔与爱斯特拉冈两人对骂四个回合，弗拉基米尔最后骂了一句crétin，意思是“白痴”，然后爱斯特拉冈以“决定性的口吻”（with finality）回了一个crritic，结束骂战。这是贝克特玩文字游戏，故意将critique/critic（批评家）错拼为crritic，臆造一个荒诞词汇，既与crétin谐音，又暗指了“批评家”这类人，将批评家调侃成最可恶的一种人。在国内广为流传的施咸荣译本中，这里就是直接译为了“评论家”，丢失了一点点原文的韵味。直译应该可以译作“评沦家”、“评论砖家”、“屁评家”、“痞评家”之类。本人在这里为了迎合此篇文章的通顺流畅，采取了很不合宜的意译“评你妹”，不足为信，特此说明。[/size][/font]
[indent]Here are some examples of critics doing their gleeful worst – and literary lights who don't miss a chance to take a swipe at a colleague. If we left your favorite mean quote out, let us know on Facebook or Twitter, #toomean.[/indent] 以下就是从评论家们欢乐的骂战中精选出的13条，这其中不乏文学泰斗不遗余力对同行大放冷箭。如果我们不小心漏掉了你最喜欢的吐舌评论，请到[url=http://www.facebook.com/barnesandnoble][color=#004276]脸书（Facebook）[/color][/url]给我们留言，或上[url=http://twitter.com/#!/BNBuzz][color=#004276]推特（Twitter）[/color][/url]通知我们，记得加井号标注#toomean。4
[indent]"The Cardinal's Mistress" by Benito Mussolini[/indent][b]一、《红衣主教的情人》[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171038_45041.jpg[/img]
[b]作者贝尼托·墨索里尼（Benito Mussolini；下图左）（图右为希特勒）[/b]
[b][img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171019_69038.jpg[/img][/b]
[indent]In response to reading Benito Mussolini's "The Cardinal's Mistress", Dorothy Parker said, "this is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."[/indent][b]评论者：桃乐丝·帕克尔（Dorothy Parker）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171015_17638.jpg[/img]
读罢墨索里尼的小说《红衣主教的情人》，帕克尔说：“这本小说可不能随手扔到一边；应该狠狠甩飞！”
[indent]Henry James[/indent][b]二、亨利·詹姆斯（Henry James；下图左为年轻时，右为中年时）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171021_78611.gif[/img][img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171034_14239.jpg[/img]
[b]代表作：《悲剧缪斯》等[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171023_30810.jpg[/img]
[indent]Of Henry James, Mark Twain said, "Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again."[/indent][b]评论者：马克·吐温（Mark Twain）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171037_45206.jpg[/img]
针对詹姆斯，马克·吐温曾说：“读他的书不能停，你一旦放下，就再也拿不起来了。”3
[indent]George Meredith[/indent][b]三、乔治·梅瑞狄斯（George Meredith）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171002_70710.jpg[/img]
[b]代表作：《利己主义者》等[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171038_70595.jpg[/img]
[indent]Of George Meredith, Oscar Wilde said, "as a writer he has mastered everything except language; as a novelist he can do everything except tell a story; as an artist he is everything except articulate ."[/indent][b]评论者：奥斯卡·王尔德（Oscar Wilde）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171057_86091.jpg[/img]
针对梅瑞狄斯，王尔德曾说：“作为一个作家，他掌握了一切，除了语言；作为一个小说家，他几乎万能，可就是不会讲故事；作为一个艺术家，他简直就是上帝，唯独搞不懂说话的艺术。”
[indent]Herman Melville[/indent][b]四、赫尔曼·梅尔维尔（Herman Melville）[/b]
[b][img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171027_58117.jpg[/img][/b]
[b]代表作：《白鲸》、《皮埃尔》等[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002171045_98129.jpg[/img]
[indent]"Moby Dick" was largely a dud when it was published, and most of the critics were scathing. One reviewer dismissed Melville's magnum opus as "sheer moonstruck lunacy." [/indent] 《白鲸》刚放表的时候就是个哑炮，大多数批评都十分严厉。有一位评论者甚至称梅尔维尔的这部代表作是“纯粹神经错乱撒癔症”。
[indent]And from The Boston Globe's review of Melville's "Pierre": [/indent] 而《波士顿环球报》则这样评价梅尔维尔的《皮埃尔》：
[indent]"But the amount of utter trash in the volume is almost infinite -- trash of conception , execution, dialogue and sentiment. Whoever buys the book on the strength of Melville's reputation , will be cheating himself of his money, and we believe we shall never see the man who has endured the reading of the whole of it.... Comment upon the [plot] is needless. But even this string of nonsense is equalled by the nonsense that is strung upon it, in the way of crazy sentiment and exaggerate d passion. What the book means, we know not. To save it from almost utter worthlessn ess, it must be called a prose poem, and even then, it might be supposed to emanate from a lunatic hospital rather than from the quiet retreats of Berkshire. We say it with grief -- it is too bad for Mr. Melville to abuse his really fine talents as he does. A hundred times better if he kept them in a napkin all his natural life."[/indent] “这本大部头里面大部分内容都是纯粹的垃圾，概念是垃圾，行为是垃圾，对话是垃圾，情感也是垃圾。谁要是因为梅尔维尔的名气去买这本书，那就是在浪费钱，我们相信这个世界上绝对不会有人能坚持读完整本书……（对剧情的）评价更是没必要了。但这一连串剧情如此荒谬，竟然与本书极度夸张的激情相得益彰，只因为那一系列情感也是荒谬至极。这本书到底要讲什么？我们搞不懂。这本书如果不想沦为彻底一无是处的垃圾，那就最好是定位成一篇散文诗，而且还要说是一个住在疯人院里的病人写的散文诗，不要说是住在伯克希尔幽静度假村的谁谁谁写的小说。我们沉痛地宣布：梅尔维尔先生这样浪费他的才华真是太不应该、太可惜了。他的这些‘才华’，如果能找张纸巾，小心翼翼裹起来，一辈子不拿出来显摆，都比现在这样好一百倍。”
译注：《波士顿环球报》这段评论的原作者是美国记者查尔斯·哥顿·格林（Charles Gordon Greene），原文后面还有很长，紧接着的下一句话是“他要是能放弃《泰皮》（Typee）的著作权，更是要好上一千倍”。“毒舌”格林照片见下图。
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002191009_33572.jpg[/img]
[indent]"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Brontë[/indent][b]五、《呼啸山庄》[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201014_28022.jpg[/img]
[b]作者：艾米莉·勃朗特（Emily Brontë）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201054_69116.jpg[/img]
[indent]"Wuthering Heights" was universally panned, and Emily Brontë read every single review before her untimely death prevented her from knowing that the book would someday be considered a masterpiece. [/indent] 《呼啸山庄》广受苛责，艾米莉·勃朗特英年早逝，她去世前所读到的每一条评论都是差评，哪曾想这部作品有朝一日竟然成为大师级杰作。
[indent]The first review published in January 1848 by the Atlas calls it a "strange, inartistic story...[that] is inexpressibly painful." The reviewer describes every character in the book as "hateful or thoroughly contemptible." [/indent] 本书的第一篇书评发表于1848年1月的《亚特拉斯周报》（The Atlas），报上评论说这部作品是个“奇怪的、缺乏艺术性的故事……（这故事）令人头疼，简直是难以用语言来形容。”评论者表述说书里每一个角色都是“要么就可憎可恨，要么就该被彻底鄙视。”
[indent]The Examiner dismissed it as "strange" as well as "wild, confused; disjointed, and improbable." But Graham's Lady Magazine really dug in: "How a human being could have attempted such a book as the present without committing suicide before he had finished a dozen chapters, is a mystery. It is a compound of vulgar depravity and unnatural horrors."[/indent] 《考察家报》（The Examiner）则不屑地贬称它作“奇怪”以及“失控、混乱、脱节、太假”。而《格兰汉姆女士杂志》（Graham's Lady Magazine）就真得很不留情面：“作为一个正常人，读这样一本书，居然能坚持读十几章而不自杀？这实在是很神奇。这本书，糅合了粗俗的堕落与不自然的恐怖。”6
[indent]Ernest Hemingway[/indent][b]六、欧内斯特·海明威（Ernest Hemingway）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201025_64387.jpg[/img]
[b]代表作：《太阳照常升起》等[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201004_41494.jpg[/img]
[b]评论者：戈尔·维达尔（Gore Vidal）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201036_19759.jpg[/img]
[indent]Gore Vidal said of Hemingway, "What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke?"[/indent] 维达尔如此评价海明威：“这世界上，还有哪种文化，可以制造出像海明威这样一个人，却不将他看作是一个笑话？”
[indent]A Forgettable Book of Poetry[/indent][b]七、一本被历史遗忘了的诗集[/b]
[b]评论者：兰德尔·杰瑞尔（Randall Jarrell）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201021_16620.jpg[/img]
[b]评论者代表作：《华盛顿动物园的女人》等[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201047_40825.jpg[/img]
[indent]Randall Jarrell's one sentence review of a forgettable book of poetry: "This reads like it was written on a typewriter --by a typewriter ."[/indent] 杰瑞尔曾讽刺一本现已无法考证的诗集，留下了一句精辟短评：“这玩意儿读起来简直就像是打字机打出来的一样——作者就是那个打字机。”
[indent]Theodore Dreiser[/indent][b]八、西奥多·德莱塞（Theodore Dreiser；中）（译注：下图左为John Dos Passos，右为Samuel Ornitz）[/b]
[b][img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201043_34758.jpg[/img][/b]
[b]代表作：《嘉莉妹妹》等[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201022_80793.jpg[/img]
[b]评论者：亨利·路易斯·曼肯（H.L. Mencken）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002201035_51658.jpg[/img]
[indent]H.L. Mencken managed to pan one of his closest friends, Theodore Dreiser: "An Indiana peasant, snuffling absurdly over imbecile sentimenta lities, giving a grave ear to quackeries , snorting and eye-rollin g with the best of them." [/indent] 曼肯曾这样批判他的挚友德莱塞：“一个印第安纳州来的农民，一把鼻涕一把泪简直是荒唐，为了某种弱智低能的情愁而感伤，一听到骗人的鬼玩意儿就凑个耳朵上去，还听得直喘粗气、眼珠滴溜溜乱转就是他了。”
[indent]"The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald[/indent][b]九、《了不起的盖茨比》[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002211033_53879.jpg[/img]
[b]作者：弗·司各特·菲茨杰拉德（F. Scott Fitzgerald）（图为菲茨杰拉德与妻子、女儿）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002211033_51882.jpg[/img]
[indent]H.L. Mencken called "The Great Gatsby" a "glorified anecdote."[/indent] 又是曼肯，他说《了不起的盖茨比》是一段“备受推崇、备受美化的奇闻轶事”。
[indent]"Chesapeake" by James Michener[/indent][b]十、《契沙比克》[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002211023_66824.jpg[/img]
[b]作者：詹姆斯·米切纳（James Michener）（图为作者与第三任妻子、日本人玛丽·寒风泽顺子【音；Mari Yoriko Sabusawa】）[/b]
[b][img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002211001_56065.jpg[/img][/b]
[indent]At more than 2,000 pages, here's what The New Yorker had to say about it: "I have two recommendations. First, don't buy this book. Second, if you buy this book, don't drop it on your foot."[/indent] 对这部两千多页的作品，《纽约客》的“毒舌”们是这么评论的：“我有两个建议。第一，别买这本书；第二，如果你买，那么拿稳了，小心别砸着脚。”
[indent]Vladimir Nabakov[/indent][b]十一、弗拉基米尔·纳博科夫（Vladimir Nabokov）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002211012_16642.jpg[/img]
[b]代表作：《洛丽塔》等[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002211045_29173.jpg[/img]
[b]评论者：埃德蒙·威尔逊（Edmund Wilson）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002221026_79898.jpg[/img]
[indent]Edmund Wilson wrote: "Mr. Nabokov is in the habit of introducin g any job of this kind which he undertakes by the announceme nt that he is unique and incomparab le and that everybody else who has attempted it is an oaf and ignoramus, usually with the implicatio n that he is also a lo-class person and a ridiculous personalit y."[/indent] 威尔逊曾写到：“纳博科夫先生有个习惯，那就是不管他干什么工作，他都要宣布说自己独一无二、所向披靡。别人如果也想要干同样的活儿，那他就说别人是个不学无术的呆子、是个浑浑噩噩的蠢人，而且还经常暗示说那个人肯定是来自社会底层，说别人的人格荒谬可笑。”4
[indent]J.D. Salinger[/indent][b]十二、杰罗姆·大卫·塞林格（J.D. Salinger）（图为塞林格与女儿）[/b]
[b][img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002221007_41199.jpg[/img][/b]
[b]代表作：《麦田守望者》、《法兰妮与卓依》等[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002221008_84451.jpg[/img]
[b]评论者：诺曼·梅勒（Norman Mailer）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002221020_54362.jpg[/img]
[indent]A favorite from Norman Mailer: "The greatest mind ever to stay in prep school."[/indent] 梅勒评塞林格的一句经典：“他的心智，是迄今为止我所见过最了不起的——就中学水平而言。”7
[indent]"And I Shall Make Music"[/indent][b]十三、《且让我搞点音乐》[/b]
[b]作者：不详；可能是贝西·拉斯基（Bessie Lasky）[/b]
[b]评论者：亚历山大·伍卡特（Alexander Woollcott）[/b]
[img]http://cdn.yeeyan.org/upload/attached/2011-10/02/20111002221001_24117.jpg[/img]
[indent]Alexander Woollcott once reviewed a self-published book of poetry called "And I Shall Make Music" with: "Not on my carpet, lady."[/indent] 伍卡特曾评论过一本素人自费出版的诗集，那本诗集题为《且让我搞点音乐》，他的评论是：“别在我家搞就行，女士。”
译注：伍卡特，是“阿尔冈琴圆桌会”（Algonquin Round Table）的中坚分子之一。这个组织，则是上世纪20年代左右纽约市一些作家、评论家、演员形成的一个非正式聚会，他们经常聚在阿尔冈琴饭店的一张圆桌上用餐，高谈阔论，交流见闻。文艺范儿小圈子。下图是圆桌会部分著名成员，四位男士由左至右分别是Art Samuels、Charls MacArthur、Harpo Marx及Alexander Woollcott。前排那位美妹纸，则是前面已经介绍过的：批评墨索里尼小说的桃乐丝·帕克尔（Dorothy Parker）。
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[b]（译注：本文所有图片均来自《赫芬顿邮报》原网页及维基百科。）[/b] 这类刻薄，并不罕见。一些伟大作家未成名时收到的编辑退稿信，刻薄度往往有过之而无不及。
作家与评论家的关系，总是会被作家一方误认，尤其是中国的作家。他们的经典反击，就像原文题献里那句话一样，把评论家说成作家的依附者。只有这么说，他们才会一吐胸中恶气。当然，如果他们也擅长评论，就不会满足于这种小儿科的反击了。
西方大作家、大诗人往往也擅长评论，他们可以直接用评论反击对手，那就精彩多了。
评论家的工作是文学的组成部分，他们依附于文学，而非依附于作家。 中国太缺这类书评了
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