"主席悲, 主席悲, 娶了个女人被乌龟!"

Epiphany

"主席悲, 主席悲, 娶了个女人被乌龟!"


by Jacob, from Shanghai


(Note: the following story was told by a Shanghai man, in April 2022, who was born in the 1950s.)


In September 1976, Chairman Mao Zedong died, turning his wife into a widow. Though minor, this change of her status would have a major consequence: within one month of his death she was arrested, together with her three colleagues, all male and all loyal to her dead husband.


People throughout mainland China vied with one another to denounce her and the Gang she led, the so-called Gang of Four (四人帮), much as they had vied with one another to praise them and their correct line in the Cultural Revolution. Ever a proud opportunist, Shanghai sprang into action; the People's Square (人民广场), in the city's center, saw a large number of men meet to swap stories about the Gang, still led by her but with the other three members now replaced by 浩亮 (an actor), 刘庆棠 (a dancer), and 庄则栋 (an athlete). The new Gang of Four gripped people's private parts just as the old Gang of Four gripped their public ones.


What stories could not be told at last about a woman and three men in bed? Group sex was proposed for them. "Every hole of hers was filled up," a statement that would send a flame down the spine of the Square, causing it to agitate in heat. "What does this mean?" asked the young men, demanding an explanation. It was given. For the first time after 1949, sex education, joyous and unashamed, was offered to the masses right in the People's Square.


All of a sudden, a great explosion was heard. No, it did not come from the Square, however inflamed with desire. Rather, it came from a man on the spot, who exploded with poetry:

"主席悲, 主席悲,
娶了个女人被乌龟!"


It took a while for smoke to vanish, and for peace to return. The man was gone.


People in the Square were amazed to find that 薛蟠 flowed with time from 红楼梦 to the Shanghai of 1976, and I was amazed to find that these two lines of his would flow with time to the Shanghai of April 2022, when the city was locked tight, with the sole key held by another glorious 主席.


Shanghai is looking forward to the day when 薛蟠 will continue to flow with time and explode with his own poetry once again in the People's Square:


"主席悲, 主席悲,
娶了个女人被乌龟!"